March, 2011

What is Fear?

Based on an informal assessment and polling I’ve done recently, here’s what we fear:

  • Identity
    • LOSING ONESELF
      • Death / Pain / Insignificance
    • BEING WRONG
      • Self-Exploration / Failure / Change
    • INAUTHENTICITY
      • Being Found Out / Self-Expression / Lying
  • Control
    • EMOTIONAL
      • Power / Anticipation / Fear-Itself
    • OTHERS
      • Intimacy / Just Doing It / (Lack of) Freedom
    • THE UNCONTROLLABLE
      • Disaster / Crisis / Unknown-Unknowns
  • Authority
    • RIGHTS
      • Being Unworthy / Unmet Expectation / Meaninglessness
    • MORALITY
      • Unfairness / Inequality / Injustice
    • RULES
      • Doing it Wrong / Shame / Guilt

Each of us has a unique profile of what fear is depending on how we related to various value dimensions (intrinsic, extrinsic and systemic).  For me the scariest are: (1) Unknown-Unknowns (2)  Power (3) Being Wrong (4) Self-Expression (5) Injustice

How about you?…

Personal Cosmology

In some measure or other, progress is always a transcendence of what is obvious. (Alfred North Whitehead, Process & Reality)

Science tells us that there are Four Fundamental Forces: Electromagnetic, Strong Nuclear, Weak Nuclear, and Gravity.  The Reality that Science helps us perceive consists of Time, Space, Matter and Energy.  If we accept TSME as the basis for Reality, then we can do Science.  Without these things as Fundamentals, the activity of Science makes no sense.  You are doing something, metaphysics or philosophy perhaps, but not Science.

What if we played a game though and I asked you to come up with an alternate cosmology, a way to make sense of the world around you that is completely personal, which you don’t have to justify to anyone, but it makes total and complete sense to you. You can speak in this private language to yourself, it feels right, and when you are perceiving the world through this lens it’s all very clear.  Before you identified …

How to Be a Good Representative

Are you someone who has been given (and accepted) responsibility for someone else’s well-being?  Maybe you are an elected official?  A board member? A parent?  A friend?  If so, you may resonate with the following realization I just had about my own successes and failures in the role of Representative.

I used to believe that what a Representative does is to act and react as if they were the one being represented.  I felt like my job was to get inside their head, and channel them, sort of like a medium or a conduit.  The problem with this though is it always ends badly.  Why?  Because it’s an impossible job.

Nobody can speak for you, as if they were you.  Sure, if you know one another really, really well, then at times it can seem as though they read your mind, know what’s in your heart.  But the times I have been most frustrated in any relationship is when the other person believes and acts …

Big Mind, Big Heart

Do you have 15 minutes to be enlightened?

Ready for more?

Getting Things Undone

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your inbox, meeting schedule, and list of phone calls to make or return?  Have you ever wished you could include a wide audience in your one-on-one communications so that we could all benefit from wisdom of the crowd?  If so, you might like my new policy for all business-related communications.

Email

  • Non-private: instead use Accelerating Possibilities FB Group.  (and I don’t do FB private messages).
  • Private: I read every email but only respond if I feel it’s truly a private matter and I’m interested in responding.

Phone & Video Chat

  • Non-private: Create a Vokle Event and post the subject of the discussion to the FB group above.  If I can make it, I will, but hopefully others will join you regardless.
  • Private: Email me your phone number and I will put you on my list of people to call when I have time.  I can’t promise if/when I will call you though.

In Person Meetings

  • Non-private: Try me at 

Mutual Disclosure Agreement

When I was in Silicon Valley in the 90’s the joke was that you couldn’t go on a first date without having your love-interest sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement; after all, they might be working on a competitive venture.

These days when I’m hit with the “I’d love to talk to you about my startup, will you first sign this NDA?” my first reaction is to laugh in their face.  I know instantly that they don’t get it and are doomed to failure.  While the NDA may once have been a necessary tool, in today’s environment (and increasingly so) it’s a hinderance to ultimate business success.  If you don’t get this, I’m not going to waste your time trying to convince you otherwise.  You’ll either learn the hard way or prove me wrong.  Either outcome is fine by me.

But if you do get it, and you also encounter this old-school naiveté, I invite you to do what I do, which is to thank the person …

The Secret to a Great TED Talk

Recently I learned from two separate people how the Obama campaign won the 2008 presidential election and it’s fascinating.  Basically everyone who was a part of it learned the “campaign narrative” structure and delivered their personal message to spread the gospel:

  • The Story of Me: why I’ve personally been inspired by this campaign
  • The Story of We: why we (me speaking and you listening) are united and inspired by this campaign
  • The Story of Now: why it’s urgent that you take action now; the train is leaving and you can jump aboard or be left behind

If you think about it, this is a very powerful narrative for creating grass-roots action of any sort.  Having just spent the last week watching many dozens of TED talks (and having watched hundreds of them over the past few years), I’ve been thinking about the fact that the great ones all follow a shared structure, which I will share with you now:

  • The Story of

Being Present

I’m practicing being present all the time.  It’s really difficult for people like me who are analytically-inclined.  I’m reminded of my improv teacher in college who told us at the beginning of the class: “This class is really hard for Stanford students because it requires turning off your judgment and simply going with the flow, and by virtue of you being here, I know that does not come naturally to you.”  At the same time, being present is the easiest thing in the world to do.  You were born with this natural ability, and everything else about you has been added on since.…